750 words dec 28th

I'm going to try and do this daily and then I am going to try and copy it. Did I say this yesterday? Well today it is going to happen!Spoke to Bridget before going to sleep last night and she hung up on me. Made me feel awful because I know she needs help and for someone to just listen to her. Today I called her back to see how she was doing and she told me that Scott had hung up on her also! I told her it might be her addiction and that she is not getting past it. When she says, "why doesn't he love me" and we say because he is a selfish asshole, and she says, why doesn't he love me? It gets a little old and I made her promise that she would begin to listen to people. When she says she does not know what to do and is asking for help then she needs to listen to the advice. The instruction. She is a mess and I told her that she could come down and stay with Joe and me. I don't know if this will work and I am certain it will kill Joe but it is just so that she will feel better and maybe I could find somewhere for her to stay. I know a lot of people from the CB and maybe one of them has a place. I think that Christa needs a place and a job - maybe her and B could get it together. Not that I would ever think B would act on it, but it could happen.
Then Heather be they name was in a mood last night and gave me a semi-lecture on how to fold bags and lay them just so in the box so that she could get couble the amount in there. And that I could just not throw them in there. God, I hate working when she is around. Geez. Kim just stood around acting sort of weird. I guess Kim is worn out and H puts so much pressure on her to perform and carry the load with her. Problem is that Kim is being paid $8.50/hr and Heather gets all the bonus etc. You think she shares any of that with Kim? Hell no. I have come to the place in my tenure with CB that it barely bothers me anymore. She is just not a very good manager and loves to tell people how to do things the way she wants them done. Lately she has been good about thanking us, but not recently.
It is a job that I can take with me if I go elsewhere. I am thinking about wandering in there Friday and taking the PAR II test. If we go to Tupelo, I would like to be a PAR III. I don't look forward to working at a CB, but at least I will have a job.
I cleaned the house yesterday. Well, washed dishes and tidies up the kitchen, took stuff to the garage. I tackled the bedroom and made some great progress. I like a clean orderly house. We have such little room!!
I forgot that at the Barrel a gentleman came up to me and told me that my smile was genuine and from the heart. That he could tell it was not fake but that I meant it. "You hav made my day" I told him. He vanished into the crowd.
I made butternut squash soup in the afternoon and it was so good. Was it healthy? Probably. All I added was about 2 tbls of cream cheese. I added some orange rind and a bay leaf. Imagine if I had used home made chicken stock. Hmmmmmmmm.
I am distressed both over Bridget and Danielle. I feel helpless to do a thing. Throwing money will not be the answer but actually enabling. I decided that I would be the one to go to Alanon for us all. Will I?
And I found the weight watcher stuff and I will look it over today and begin to eat healty - healthier. I woke up this morning feeling bad. Could it be because I ate potato chips and 4 magnetics and a handful of chocolate covered cherries from 2pm onward. And a cup of hot chocolate before bed? What a diet. I also want to start swimming and doing some yoga. To run again would be devine. I know I could do it as the shoe inserts make walking and standing on my feel about as simple as it was 20 years ago - lol.
I bought a white sweater yesterday along with a jasamine candle and two CD's at the bucket. I put my check in the mail to Citizens. I may be overdrawn. I just hope it gets there fast.
i miss reading and taking care of the house and all that jazz. Oh yea, I found the list of books I have! Should I scan it in or should I type them in?I had three hits on the selling the books. I could maybe unload the whole batch. But, I must remember that it would be for resale and that I can not hope too much for the IRS to back off!