Friday, December 31, 2010

750 words December 31

New Years Eve! And I have it off. And so I am up an hour earlier than usual. And I laid in bed for at least 1/2 hour and marveled at my good fortune at not having to work. Have a full day planned with going to the library, getting my hair done, getting further in debt with purchasing the wii and at least one game for Joe.

Yesterday I arrived home, after shopping at Kohls and the liquor store, and had a letter from Debbie waiting for me. She thanked me for the angel ornament iI sent and it was waiting for her on her return from Key West. Then she told me everything that was going on in her life and how things had taken certain twists and turns. It was heaven getting a letter and on my manifesto for 2011 I have written that I want to keep in touch with people more thru the mail than I have previously. I use to send cards on a weekly basis to several people. I sent Bridget a card a week when she was with Scott. I sent Deb and email a day when she was in the midst of the break up with her husband. I sent cards to everyone. I stopped be cause I was not with Coke any longer and not on the road, stopped at shopping centers that had Hallmark stores and Dollar stores or Target's. Target was a good source for cards.

My aim today after the library is to head to Tuesday morning and see if they are carrying any not cards. They use to have the most wonderful selection. At least at the stores in Lex and Ft WAyne. The one in lou is where I found that beautiful gossamer paper that I ended up making X-mas cards with. They were very cool cards if I do say so.

I woke up several times during the night in a semi panic. I told myself that everything was going to be OK and went back to sleep. I had a couple, maybe 3 1/2 drinks of the run last night and then devoured a box of cereal! Not much left. There goes my whole diet for the day and I was doing so good. I had even passed up french fries. And I was so hungry yesterday afternoon. I don't know if I was really hungry or just wanting to eat. I had a clementine from the stash that Chris had in the refrid and it was delish! I had a couple of nuts once I arrived home and then a little bit of the left over chili and I was find until I was drinking and then almost polished off the box of cereal. It would of been ok but it had 6g of sugar so the rule is in Weight WAtchers, no sugar. Rats.

Heard from Bridget a little bit yesterday and she seemed better.

I received my beautiful green bead necklace from Goodwill in the mail and man oh man is it every a beauty. I need to locate a Loupe today and a micro/macro lens for the camera so that I can set myself up on ESTY. I left my list of books at the office so I need to drop in and get that so that I can continue to list them in case I find a buyer.

I also need to get my hair cut today! And send off the 2006 taxes - again! ANd find those 2004. They are in the garage some where.

Paul's party is tonight and I had committed to go. I have a room booked at the Inn by the Lake, which is that super funky place that Joe and I found 1/2 way in between Lou and Memphis and stayed at least two times. I want to say three, but I think it was only tow times. I have stayed three times when you count in the Sig Ep reunion party.

It should be a great party and I have a new pair of pants I picked up at Khols. With the Sonicare tooth brush. Once you use a Sonic there is no going back. This is my third one. The first I got after the much cheaper Oral B broke. The sonic is a dream. I have had this second one since 2005, I got it right after landing the job with Coke in FW. My first paycheck I ran into Sam's and renewed my cues and picked up a Sonic for around $80. Last night I paid $129 maybe, could have been more and the nice woman in front of me handed over a coupon printed from the internet for 20% off. So I guess I paid $105. $25 dollars more in five years. Hmmmm. ANd it was not Sam's Club.

Well there is my 750 word dump.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

750 Words Dec 30th

Another day another dollar. At least I made it to work on time, clocked in on the dot! I have a bunch of things to do today before leaving for the week-end, extended week-end. I don't know if we will get to go to Paul's because Joe has to work. A grain train or some such crap. If he doesn't go, then maybe I will but I doubt it. A reunion of 40 guys verses a small intimate party is going to be a different story.
Yesterday was a good day. I broke out my little pad and wrote "what wonderful things happened today" and was able to jot a few down. It's much easier when it is the day! Trying to reach back is difficult at the least. I believe that I played on the computer and found the Manifesto challenge with Sunday Scribbling and so I began to jot down a ton of things I would like to pursue or continue in 2011. I lifted another Dionis lip balm as Ihavve lost the other two. Good lord. I walked the Mall and said hi to everyone. I met some nice people at the Bucket and helped them purchase a musical box for $30. It is beautiful and I wish I had the gumption to buy the bears, but I'm certain they will be gone today. I bought the thrid sweater in that style that I love, the purple one this time. I think I may pick up a second black one. They re old women stuff, but nice. I am eating healthier and made a second batch of Squash soup which is the balm! I need to put a little ginger in the next batch and maybe some other eye opener taste. Curry? haha. But I felt so much better when I woke up this morning thinking, No candy and chips!
Manifesto.....I want to read more books, take more photo's, send more note cards and letters, make more telephone calls, tell people why I cherish them, go to AlAnon, pay off the IRS in record breaking time, start that Vintage Jewelry business, go to church, pray more, eat less, drink less, eat healthy, buy from the farm not the factory, join a CSA, be kinder to people, stop criticising people if only in my head, continue to learn with books on tape, buy Tony Robbins tapes on line, buy the Dale Caragie on line, sell my books, start a business on line (ESTY), volunteer at the senior sitizin home and conduct those interviews and write that book!, learn to work smarter ask myself How Can I Do THis Better, make more phone calls to friends, exercise more swim again and maybe take running seriously again, go to the doctor for my women things and get my teeth cleaned!, go on that cruise with Joe, be certain to give more to the needy and not judge, carry $5 with me to give away always when asked, visit more flea markets, buy local, save more money, write more and then write more again, go to the Farmers Market on a weekly basis, be kinder to people, watch less TV, get up earlier in the morning, make time to love Joe, smile more and mean it, help Bridget more in a way that will help her, make Alaynon a reality...
More to come as I think of them. As I grow older I realize how much I love and cherish my Mom. One day on the ride to Versailles I was listening to a Tony Robbins tape and wanted to tell her how blessed I was to have had her not only as a Mother but as a role model and that I missed living so close to her that I could come running over whenever she needed me, how much I missed that and wanted to be there. I think she heard me, because she is deaf on that side of her head and she changed the subject. She must have heard how it was coming from the heart because she mentioned Bridget and how she wanted so much for B to finish high school.
Speaking of B she called me again crying last night. I don't know how to help her. You know how you give advice and then they do not take it. I have mentioned that time and time again in this 750 word dump. They don't listen, maybe she enjoys her misery. Iknow it makes you feel much more alive. Funny how you go on and on taking everything for granted and suddenly you are faced with an earth shattering life changing experience and suddenly everything feels different more intensely and deeply. Well, she is fixated on this guy (who I would love to call a name but I will not!) and helping here is difficult. I offered to let her come down here and I would find her a place with Candi or someone from The Bucket. They are younger! But it would be a change.
We find out about Tupelo in a week or so. Looks good, but I am not going to count on it.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

750 words December 29

I am not very good at the dump game. I am at work already and checking out Goodwill site to bid on anything that catches my fancy with these delusions of gradure that I somehow ill set up a web site, maybe Alphawoman's Vintage and sell it on ESTY or on the street corner. Heck, you never know do you? I do know that I am ga-ga over this jewelry phase of my life. Have I mentioned that I wish I had started it in the 1970's hell the 1960's? I saw a nice ittle bracelet that has multi colored gems in it and it reminded me of something I use to have when I was a kid! Anyway, I am now going to set my sites on these huge bbags of stuff and its just like a treasure hunt! One is out of Ft. Wayne and looks fabulous with a lot of turquoise.
I overslept today and woke up around 730am. I had been having this dream that a movie group came to the farm and wanted to film a documentary. Julu 22nd. But the next morning they were setting up camp for the shoot! I ran out there and told them that they had yet to get permission. They balked and told me that I had given them the word. I walked them into the parlor to meet the owner of the property, a little old woman who was dressed up like a princess and getting ballet lessons. The instructor was holding her as she extended her leg. I told this young pup that he had to ask her and that I did not appreciate his leaving last night (the day before?) without saying good bye. And there was this bull in the back field who noticed me looking out the window. I crouched down but the bull made like he was ready to charge (Hemingway yesterday?) and then my kitty got outside! Black and white. We know that old Blackie won't go outside. And it ws Missy Dotson's house from Big Sink Pike. After I thought about it I recognized the house. How long has that memory floated around in my brain?
I bought the kitty some balls to play with. They are smaller than a ping pong ball and have a ittle bell in the middle. Eight of them. They scared him to death. He crouched under his chair and looked at them. Good lord, this is such a pussy cat. I played with the dancing mouse. The one that we use to sit on Indika's head and he would look at us like we were crazy "Like this? You really want me to let this mouse sit on my head?"
I am at work and it is Linda and I and she has not been in a good mood for the past tow days. Probably because Adam is not here. Even when he is here he is not here. lol. Yesterday he brought in child #3 who was sick. Linda says we are all going to be sick because of it.
I am starting the Weight Watchers diet. Slowly at first - yea that's right, slow. I am going to go with the core thing. You eat everything you want from a certain group of food. There are no cookies or snacks in this group. Just from the farm! Fruits veggies and chicken and fish, that sort of stuff. I think I can do it as long as I remember to buy lots of veggies for variety. Right now all I have is a lot of fruit. I brought a banana and orange and an apple. I should be OK with digestion - lol.
Made the butternut squash soup again last night. It is delish but is missing just a little something. I might try a hint of fresh ginger the next batch I make. I was in Walmart last night because Emilia told me she would close the Bucket. her boyfriend got called into work and she did not have a ride home and so it goes. Heck yes! So I headed over to Walmart and finally found the X,as stuff, hidden in the garden section. It looked like the Grinch had been to walmart and taken it all away. Not a single bag of peppermint Hershey kisses remained. Glad I found two bags for Bridgie for Christmas. I ran into Suzy and Darien and Mindy at the Walmart. We stood in the aisle and talked for a good long while. I truly like them all! Honest. Then I went down to get some milk, since I am drinking the hell out of it with my hot chocolate and there was Adam's wife. She is not very friendly. She smiled but it was one of those smiles that is not warm or guinine (unlike my smile that is the exact opposite).
Well, the 750 words have passed me by and I guess that I have dumped what ever it is that needs to fly out of these finger tips.
Chis told me that the guy who had the heart attack did not make it. He died from a massive heart attack and that the flight surgeon nurse knew what she was doing by rolling him on his side to get a ittle bit of a pulse. But he did not make it. I searched the papers for some obit but did not find it. It happened Friday, New Years eve. Certainly it would have made the SUnday paper? We did not receive many papers at the office or Mindy took them and I did not get my copy. So I briefly scanned linda's and did not see it. I prayed for him, such a terrible time to go. He was 68 I thin Chris said.
So you never know, do you? I also say on tv this morning the best thing you can do for yourself is to eat from the Farm not from the Factory. to eat 1 2/2 serving of fruits and many veggies daily. To floss - and to sleep 7 - 9 hours a night. I certainly have the sleep down!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

750 words dec 28th

I'm going to try and do this daily and then I am going to try and copy it. Did I say this yesterday? Well today it is going to happen!Spoke to Bridget before going to sleep last night and she hung up on me. Made me feel awful because I know she needs help and for someone to just listen to her. Today I called her back to see how she was doing and she told me that Scott had hung up on her also! I told her it might be her addiction and that she is not getting past it. When she says, "why doesn't he love me" and we say because he is a selfish asshole, and she says, why doesn't he love me? It gets a little old and I made her promise that she would begin to listen to people. When she says she does not know what to do and is asking for help then she needs to listen to the advice. The instruction. She is a mess and I told her that she could come down and stay with Joe and me. I don't know if this will work and I am certain it will kill Joe but it is just so that she will feel better and maybe I could find somewhere for her to stay. I know a lot of people from the CB and maybe one of them has a place. I think that Christa needs a place and a job - maybe her and B could get it together. Not that I would ever think B would act on it, but it could happen.
Then Heather be they name was in a mood last night and gave me a semi-lecture on how to fold bags and lay them just so in the box so that she could get couble the amount in there. And that I could just not throw them in there. God, I hate working when she is around. Geez. Kim just stood around acting sort of weird. I guess Kim is worn out and H puts so much pressure on her to perform and carry the load with her. Problem is that Kim is being paid $8.50/hr and Heather gets all the bonus etc. You think she shares any of that with Kim? Hell no. I have come to the place in my tenure with CB that it barely bothers me anymore. She is just not a very good manager and loves to tell people how to do things the way she wants them done. Lately she has been good about thanking us, but not recently.
It is a job that I can take with me if I go elsewhere. I am thinking about wandering in there Friday and taking the PAR II test. If we go to Tupelo, I would like to be a PAR III. I don't look forward to working at a CB, but at least I will have a job.
I cleaned the house yesterday. Well, washed dishes and tidies up the kitchen, took stuff to the garage. I tackled the bedroom and made some great progress. I like a clean orderly house. We have such little room!!
I forgot that at the Barrel a gentleman came up to me and told me that my smile was genuine and from the heart. That he could tell it was not fake but that I meant it. "You hav made my day" I told him. He vanished into the crowd.
I made butternut squash soup in the afternoon and it was so good. Was it healthy? Probably. All I added was about 2 tbls of cream cheese. I added some orange rind and a bay leaf. Imagine if I had used home made chicken stock. Hmmmmmmmm.
I am distressed both over Bridget and Danielle. I feel helpless to do a thing. Throwing money will not be the answer but actually enabling. I decided that I would be the one to go to Alanon for us all. Will I?
And I found the weight watcher stuff and I will look it over today and begin to eat healty - healthier. I woke up this morning feeling bad. Could it be because I ate potato chips and 4 magnetics and a handful of chocolate covered cherries from 2pm onward. And a cup of hot chocolate before bed? What a diet. I also want to start swimming and doing some yoga. To run again would be devine. I know I could do it as the shoe inserts make walking and standing on my feel about as simple as it was 20 years ago - lol.
I bought a white sweater yesterday along with a jasamine candle and two CD's at the bucket. I put my check in the mail to Citizens. I may be overdrawn. I just hope it gets there fast.
i miss reading and taking care of the house and all that jazz. Oh yea, I found the list of books I have! Should I scan it in or should I type them in?I had three hits on the selling the books. I could maybe unload the whole batch. But, I must remember that it would be for resale and that I can not hope too much for the IRS to back off!